Mom's Visit to Asia: Part Two

February 22, 2011

Time to continue my recollections of Bangkok! Where we last left off, Mom and I had just gotten to Bangkok, wandered around the following day, and experienced Lunar New Year, Thailand China-town style. Today we will look at the rest of the trip, mostly because I'm sitting at work and the internet isn't working so I have nothing else to do.

On Friday we were going to go up to the palace, except that the palace closes at 3:30, and we left the hotel around 2. Now, I'm not going to name names, but I'm fairly certain that the late start wasn't my fault. And since this is my journal, certain others (MOM) can't contradict me.

So we went to Wat Pho instead. Wat Pho is a temple near the palace – more like a temple complex, actually – that houses the “reclining Buddha”. This is much what it sounds like – a giant golden Buddha reclining on his side. The statue is huge – I'm no good with distances, so let's say fifty feet – and entirely covered in gold leaf. The feet have mother-of-pearl detailing, and all the around the walls of the temple are paintings of demons and temples and kings and stuff. Also in the reclining Buddha temple is a series of buckets along the far wall, and you are supposed to put a coin in each one as you walk along to bring you luck.

After that we wandered around the temple grounds. My favorite part was this section where they had a bunch of spire-looking things all done up in colorful ceramic tiles. Like the pointy roofs on various other Thai temples, they're supposed to represent mountains. We actually got to climb partway up one, and it was looking out onto a forest of weird, colorful ceramic pyramids.

Since my muscles are in a perpetual state of stiffness, I convinced Mom to head to the back of the temple, where the famous Wat Pho massage houses are. Unfortunately they didn't have any openings left for a proper Thai massage, but they did have room for 2 foot massages, which we summarily snatched up. After a half hour wait, Mom and I proceeded into the massage house. It lasted an hour, and I loved every second of it, although Mom is both extremely ticklish and extremely sensitive, so she didn't have such a great time. For me, though, complete heaven.

The next day – we're at Saturday now – was our bus trip to Ayutthaya. Ayutthaya is the old capital of Thailand, before Bangkok commandeered the title. So there's a palace, and temples, and various other interesting sight-seeing spots. We started off absurdly early – something painful like 7:30. And after an hour bus ride through the sometimes modern, sometimes horribly derelict Bangkok, we got to the palace.

I have to tell you, the palace is gorgeous. It's got a huge lake, and elephant-shaped topiary, and a huge red palace designed in the Chinese style with excessive amounts of gold, and a little pavilion in the middle of the lake with a roof that looks like flames... awesome. We took lots of pictures, and I was accosted by a group of Thai school girls who asked to take pictures with me. As in, I was in their pictures. I'm not sure if this was because they didn't see many young foreigners (since most tourists are probably retired), or because they thought my outfit – a flowery pink dress and a red pashmina – was amusing.

Then we saw a variety of Buddhist temples in varying states of disrepair. After that, we took a river cruise back down to Bangkok and our hotel, which featured a delicious buffet lunch and lovely sights to see along the way. We chatted with a British couple, ate some smoked salmon, and had a glorious time. Although by the end of it I was, of course, exhausted.

We rounded off Saturday with a trip to... so help me, I can't remember the name. However, it is also known as the RED LIGHT DISTRICT of Bangkok! That's where they have the infamous “Pussy Shows”, wherein, according to our guidebook, you get your soul gradually sucked out of you as you watch a woman do things with her, ahem, private regions, that no man or woman was ever meant to see. We didn't go to one of these shows, as we were there too early for the fun to really start, but we did wander around the adjacent market and pick up souvenirs.

Sunday rolled around, and we finally made it out to the new palace in Bangkok, the one that closes at 3:30. And I was insanely proud of myself when we got there by 2! That's right, almost 90 minutes to spare! Booya! Mom almost couldn't get in, because her capris were too short and therefore scandalous, but they rented her a sarong to cover up her flesh. Silly mother.

At the palace is the Jade Buddha. Which, I'll be honest, isn't all that impressive, because after seeing the gigantic Reclining Buddha, I was expecting something really fantastic from the Jade Buddha. The Jade Buddha is less a huge, imposing statue, and more a lonely-looking little Jade Buddha sculpture on top of a huge golden throne that is just comically large in comparison. He's got demon guards all around him to serve his every whim, but he really just looks like he could use a friend up there in nirvana.

But the rest of the palace... WOW. And I mean WOW. Gold everywhere. Huge statues. Gem-encrusted everything. Walls and gates and pagodas and topiary and... it's a pretty neat place, let's just go with that. I think I actually liked the Reclining Buddha temple more, to be honest, because I liked its serene aspect. The palace was a bit too hectic for my taste.

Following the palace, we went up to the talisman market, where they sell little – you guessed it – talismans for protection, health, wealth, etc. I bought a few – one of which Mom subsequently stole for herself – and then we proceeded over to the fortune-telling alleyway. There, we learned a great many things – for example, I will meet my husband when I'm 25, and he will be divorced with one child. It seems a bit far-fetched to me, but who knows? Could be true.

On Monday we just chillaxed. Went over to the Mandarin Oriental hotel and had some afternoon tea. Got massages/body wraps at the hotel spa. Wandered around the area and shopped. Tried to persuade Mom to buy souvenirs, because by this point she hadn't purchased ANYTHING. We went to the local mall, which is full of tourist shops, and I informed her that we weren't leaving until she bought something. We ended up walking around the entire mall, but in the end I persuaded her to buy some stuff. I broke out the WoW-speak and called it “fat lootz” in an effort to make souvenir-purchasing sound young and hip. And it worked! Mom is now the proud owner of several fat lootz, and she couldn't be happier.

On Tuesday we flew back, with a stopover in Hong Kong. Can I say that I've been there now, even if I never left the airport? I think so. I remember on my Greece trip, when we went to Istanbul and drove over to the Asian side, and I was all, “OMG I'VE BEEN TO ASIA NOW!”. Except now I'm living in Asia, so suddenly it's not quite as exciting. To quote Mom, I'm getting fairly “jaded”.

But our adventure wasn't over! We got into the airport, hopped a train to Seoul Station... and found out that the last train had just left. Yeah. Past 10:50, there's no way out of Seoul, unless you want to take a taxi or walk. So we went to a little motel, paid like $25, and slept the night away. When we woke up the next morning, we thought we had plenty of time to get back to Pyeongtaek... until we realized that Mom had never changed her watch from Thailand time, and it was actually noon, not 10 a.m.

Nevertheless we made it back, and I went to work while mother wandered around and did various things. On Thursday I took her to the bus station, we shared a tearful farewell, and off she went back to the airport and Canada land.

And that's the story of Bangkok! It was a lot hotter than I expected, more people spoke English than I expected, and it was also a lot more rundown than I expected. I thought it would be, like, a part of the city would be very fancy, high class, tourist-oriented, and then another part of the city would be the slums. Except in Bangkok they just go ahead and mix it all up together – not a bad thing, just not what I was expecting. My briefly-lived plans to go teach in Thailand have now perished, as I would never survive that kind of heat all year round.

Still seven minutes until the bell rings, so I guess I should do a life-update as well. The winter semester ends next week, meaning new books, a new schedule, and potentially new students as well. I think most of my classes are going to stay the same, level-wise, although hopefully I'll get at least one higher level class to try out, because when Sean and Sacha leave, I'll probably have to take over some of them.

It is getting warmer, so I have pulled out my spring jacket. I also decided to start my workout regime today, which involved running five times around a track, doing a bunch of sit-ups, then spending the rest of the day feeling nauseous and light-headed because I haven't exercised in like eight months. This Friday is the speaking contest, where we foreign teachers will be singing “We Will Rock You” for the kids and their parents. Since we have not actually practiced singing this song together I don't know how well it's going to go, but I'll sing it a few times in the shower so I can bring my A-game.

My laptop continues to defy all attempts at proper functionality, by which I mean the screen just goes black sometimes. I think it has a vendetta against me. Thinking it was a virus or something, I wiped the hard drive and installed the Linux-based Ubuntu operating system. Now I can't play WoW, and my screen-turning-off problem is still very much present. So lose-lose? At least I know it's not a software issue. Siiiiiiiiigh.

And that's about it. I'm headed home now to eat some carrots and watch How I Met Your Mother. I was all gung-ho about working out every day, but I'll probably start off alternating days, just so my body doesn't freak out like it did today and have a melt down. My plans to kidnap Jesse in the summer and take him to Japan are still in full effect, although I don't know when or how this will occur. And now the bell has rung. So long!

Mom's Visit to Asia - Part One

February 15, 2011

Today’s entry is going to be a long one, because I’ve got to cover a long list of things! We’ll start with Mom coming to Korea, followed by our weekend in Seoul, our days in Pyeongtaek, our week in Thailand, and then a general life update following all that. Phew!

Mom flew in on Saturday morning super early, as in 4 a.m. She took a taxi to the Incheon Hotel Airport, which is a conveniently placed hotel that you can rent out hours at a time instead of nights – so, perfect for Mom, who only needed it until noon so she could catch up on her sleep before I met her there around midday.

My own voyage to the hotel was fine – took the bus, then hopped a ludicrously expensive taxi which absolutely overcharged me, but I wasn’t aware of that at the time. Anyway, I found Mom no problem, there was much hugging and “I missed you!” “No, I missed you!”, etc. After that we proceeded on the train back to Seoul Station, where we attempted to walk to the hotel Ramada, discovered that it was insanely complex to get to, and ended up in a taxi. Most of our adventures ended that way, actually.

On Saturday, Mom was still pretty tired, so we just ended up going to the War Memorial. It’s a really neat place, full of dioramas and videos – even a miniature castle! But by closing time (6 p.m.), Mom decided that she was so exhausted from the jet lag that we just needed to go back to the hotel and go to bed. So we popped back to Seoul Station on the subway, then cabbed back to the hotel.

At the hotel, we tried to go to the classy restaurant on the top floor, but they required reservations, so we went down to the basement and ate at a nice little Korean restaurant. I, being the adventurous soul that I am, ordered bulgogi, which was actually really perplexing because it was more of a soup than marinated beef, and it was quite difficult to eat. But Mom got bibimbop, which I’ve never ordered because, well, it sounds boring. It’s basically veggies and rice mixed up in a bowl. Still, she liked it, and I had a taste so that I can now say I’ve had bibimbop.

The next day we hit up Gyeongbokgung palace, which is a huge palace complex that takes up a good two or three city blocks. It’s absolutely massive, really well-preserved, and done in the traditional Korean style. And when we were exiting the subway, there was a free tour guide – a 13 year old girl named Michelle who volunteers as part of some Korean cultural group. She spoke fantastic English, and was very knowledgeable about the palace. My favourite part was the story of Queen Min, who was assassinated when the Japanese attacked, and then her body was carried up into the mountains to be burnt. It seems unnecessary to me that they carried her all the way up there, but there you go.

After that we wandered around the area for a bit, strolled down Insadong street, and I re-discovered Mom’s passion for tea. She literally cannot function without tea. So when she ran out halfway down Insadong street, we had to make a mad rush to the end, get on the subway, and get back to the hotel so she could have her tea fix.

The next morning we went back to Pyeongtaek, where mother amused herself during my work hours by wandering around Pyeongtaek and buying things. For example, she was unimpressed by my freezing cold bathroom – because the insulation is crap – so she bought a space heater to stick in the bathroom. She also got some face cloths, a surprisingly racist book about Korea, and various other odds and ends. On the first night we went out for Korean BBQ, which Mom loved, and the next day we got a seafood deluxe pizza, which had shrimp rolled in potato, and was... well, it was strange. I definitely won’t be ordering it again, unless another Canadian person comes out to Korea and wants to experience the odd pizza flavours here.

On Wednesday we hopped the train to Seoul Station, intending to take the express train to Incheon airport. But when we started to head down the multi-escalator path down to the train, we discovered that, so long as you’re flying Korean Air, you can check in at Seoul Station! They even take the bags for you. So we did that, and then showed up at the airport with hours to spare, which was amazing in that Incheon Airport is the most awesome airport I have ever set foot in. It’s huge, it’s new, it’s roomy, it’s got a sky garden... just phenomenal. I would live there if I could, but I doubt the airport personnel would take kindly to that.

Our trip to Bangkok was uneventful, although when we got there, the customs process took a stupidly long time. Eventually we realized that, if we went over to the furthest right line, the attendants were actually pulling foreigners out of line and letting them use the Thailand passport-holder booths. After that it took like five minutes. So if you ever go to Bangkok, stay to the right!

We took an incredibly civilized, lavender-scented taxi into Bangkok and over to the Shangri-La hotel. It’s actually more of a resort, complete with pool, multiple restaurants, a spa, etc. We didn’t partake of the pool, but the restaurants and spa were all wonderful. Well, more on the spa later, but it was certainly an interesting – and somewhat terrifying – experience.

Following an excellent night’s sleep, we woke up bright and early the next morning... and ordered room service. You see, Mom got her Hepatitis shots, but apparently they didn’t take. Like, at all. She got the shots, and then... nothing. No immunity. No trace of the shots at all lingering in her system. So we had to eat our meals at the hotel, because it was guaranteed not to contain contaminated water/food. Well, I snacked as we went, but Mom couldn’t, which she wasn’t too pleased about.

The first day we decided to do a walking tour of the area, which included various places like the Assumption cathedral, the old Customs house, the Bangkok museum... and other stuff. We had some mutton masala at a little back-alley restaurant – which Mom probably shouldn’t have eaten, now that I think about it. And we got lost in an incredibly sketchy part of town next to Haroon village, which featured mountains of spare car parts, garbage liberally strewn about, and assorted shady looking individuals.

We also ran into the traditional Bangkok tourist scammers, which involves friendly-looking invididuals approaching foreigners and offering to help them find their way. Once you’ve started to trust them, they call over a “tuk tuk” – a three-wheeled taxi – and then they try to get you to get into it. Lord only knows what happens to you once you get in. You probably get robbed. Anyway, when the tuk tuk pulled up we caught on to their scheme and beat a hasty departure.

That’s another thing about Bangkok. It’s obnoxious to be a tourist there. Tuk tuks are everywhere, and every single one pulls over and tries to talk you into taking a ride. Even if you’re going in the opposite direction. Or have just turned down the last three tuk tuks, who were like five feet down the road and therefore clearly visible to the new tuk tuk driver. Sigh.

Oh yes! We also went to the Mandarin Oriental hotel, which was one of the first luxury hotels in Bangkok, and is really famous for writers staying there and being inspired by... well, presumably Bangkok, although I understand there was a lot of drinking and prostitution involved as well. On Monday we had high tea there, but the first time we visited (Thursday), we just wandered around and then continued on our way.

After this we decided to find Chinatown, since it was Lunar New Year, and we figured there would be some sort of celebration. Sure enough, the place was packed – red lanterns overhead, people swarming the streets, food carts rolling around, people wandering around selling dragon toys, etc. The cops were also trying to clear the streets, which we thought was due to an imminent parade, but was actually for a quite different reason. After we waited around for about ninety minutes, a car with police escort drove down the road. That was it. It turns out the princess of Thailand was in the car, and that was what everyone was waiting for. Yay?

We wandered around a bit more, saw the various New Year entertainments – dragon dances, a phenomenal Chinese acrobat, not to mention the temple of the Golden Buddha. And then we went back to the hotel, exhausted but happy, ate at the Thai restaurant in the hotel – which was actually really cool, as they had Thai dancers come out and entertain us – and then back to the room for sleeping.

And now my fingers – and, for some reason, wrists – are hurting from all this typing, so I’m going to end this entry here and pick up later. Perhaps tomorrow. I’ve just recently come down with a cold/sore throat, so I’m feeling pretty blah. Fingers crossed that I recover before the excessive nose blowing sets in, because that’s just not pretty for anyone involved.

Fin.