Busan Beach City

August 13, 2011

For our last long weekend, Jesse and I elected to go to Busan. This is the second largest city in Korea, located at the southern tip of the peninsula. It's famous for beaches and fish. As always, we did the bare minimum of planning, and ended up leaving the house around 3 pm on Saturday.

The next train to Busan left at 6:30, so we went for Indian food at Yak & Everest. The mutton tikka and chicken tikka masala were both delicious, but as I discovered after, Indian food and I don't mix all that well. There were some indigestion issues, so I spent the first hour or so of the train ride breathing shallowly and trying not to look out the window. Sigh. Well played, body, well played.

On the four-and-a-half hour train ride, Jesse and I alternated between reading our respective books and watching season 2 of Glee. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to actually say this, as Jesse doesn't want his little friends to find out that he watches Glee... but then again, I doubt his little friends will be reading this, so no secrecy necessary! He was resistant to watching it at first, but if you don't take it seriously it's really hilarious, which he has since come to appreciate.

We arrived in Busan at around 11:20, whereupon we set out to find a hotel. In a stellar display of failing, I had somehow forgotten that this was a holiday weekend – despite the fact that I got Monday off. Anyway, the first two places we went to were booked up full, so we resorted to wandering the back streets of Busan looking for a hotel with free rooms. We found a promising place – promising in that it said “Motel” on the sign – until we discovered that it was next door to a strip club. That, or it was actually part of the strip club, we weren't too sure. Regardless, we decided to find something a little less... sketchy.

The hotel we found had two single rooms left, which we snatched up just before a horde of weigooks arrived looking for rooms. We felt a little bad – well, I did, at least – until we realized that there were about twelve of them, and they would have never fit into two rooms anyway. Moral dilemma resolved, we grabbed burgers from Lotteria, ate them, and retired to our separate rooms for bed.

Check out time was 10 am, which meant that I had to get up at 9 am. Unfortunately for me, my body dislikes sudden changes in schedule, and I had spent the last week going to bed around 4 am. Apparently intent on spiting me, my body forbade me from going to sleep until around 3:30 am, which meant I got about 5.5 hours sleep. Fan-freaking-tastic. Still, I managed to get out of bed and into the shower without any major catastrophes, like stumbling off the balcony in a sleep-deprived haze.

We had originally planned to spend Sunday and Monday in Busan, until Jesse pointed out that the only things we were really interested in seeing – a sea-side temple whose name I've already forgotten, and the Busan aquarium – could easily be done in a day. Thus we bought train tickets for the 9 pm train, and proceeded down to Haeundae beach for our day of frolicking in the sun.

Since the weather report had read partially cloudy, high chance of thunderstorms, we didn't bother to pack sunscreen. Spoiler alert: Jesse and I both got badly sunburned. The nice thing about sunburns, though, is that you don't really notice you've gotten one until a few hours after. Therefore I was able to enjoy Busan without pain... and then spent the train ride home ruing my lack of foresight. Ah well.

The sea-side temple is unique in that it is the only Buddhist temple in Korea not built on a mountain. It was quite spectacular. You walk down a stone staircase that winds through a forest of young bamboo shoots, and then emerge from the greenery to see this sprawling temple perched amidst the rocks. We lounged on a rocky shelf for a while, just enjoying the view, then headed into the temple complex itself.

I really like going to Buddhist temples, because I like to watch the people praying. That sounds sort of creepy, but I really do. It's very spiritual, and even though I have severe reservations about religion in general, I almost always find myself admiring people who believe so strongly in their faith. Buddhism is especially fun in that worship takes the form of standing, then kneeling, then bowing, then kneeling, then standing back up again, multiple times, possibly a set number of times, or maybe even just until the worshipper feels they've done sufficient praying for the moment.

Jesse wasn't quite so tickled by the worshippers, so we headed up the steps to see a big statue of the Mother of Mercy, then down into a shockingly warm cave to see a stone Buddha. After eating some delicious ice cream, I stopped into the washroom. I mention this because it was possibly the most traumatizing experience of my life. Alright, that's an exaggeration, but it was still creeptastic beyond all belief.

So I do my business and turn to flush the toilet... only to discover that the speckled wall, which I thought was some sort of tile design, is actually speckled by hundreds of flies. Not just the tile wall, but the walls of the bathroom stall as well. And the ceiling. Then I go outside the stall to wash my hands. The walls are covered in them. The ceiling too. And the mirror in front of the sink. Just... this bathroom is infested with literally thousands of flies, but not flying around like flies are wont to do. They just sat still on the wall, like some gruesome insectophobe's nightmare, staring at you like they're about to mass-swarm you and devour your flesh. I barely managed to contain my shriek of despair as I fled the scene.

That horrific experience was only the beginning, as the temple was about 20 minutes away from the beach, and we needed to get back there to see the aquarium. Jesse and I had taken a taxi there, but there was a horde of people waiting for taxis when we left, and not a taxi in sight. Instead we opted to take the bus. Using all the pushing-through-crowds skills I have developed over the years, I scored Jesse and I spots on the bus, which then proceeded to fill up as tight as a 9 am, Western-bound 2 Dundas bus. Even better, Korean bus drivers are batshit insane. They brake without warning, delight in taking sharp, fast turns, and just seem to have a general disregard for the well-being of their passengers. We spent about half an hour bumping and falling into our fellow passengers, who returned the favor, until someone finally got off and I snagged a sort-of seat on a risen floor segment. From there it was child's play, at least for me, except I think my seat was right above the engine, because it was uncomfortably hot. Still, it was worse for Jesse, who got some sort of rubber burn from his foot digging into his flipflop every time the bus jostled.

After such horrors, it seemed a good time to break for lunch. Jesse wanted bibimbap, except the restaurants all seemed to be samgyopsal places (thick bacon slice BBQ). We ended up at Papa John's Pizza, which was delicious, and we brought some along to eat later. Once again my stomach failed me, and we wandered along the beach for about an hour while I recovered.

The Busan Aquarium is pretty darn awesome, if I say so myself. There's this massive tank that you can actually float above in a glass-bottom boat, which we didn't do. They've got sharks and manta rays and jellyfish and all sorts of awesome marine fauna, and there's even a glass tunnel you can walk through to see it all up close. I snapped a pic every time a shark came close, although I don't think they turned out very well. Curved glass is remarkably good at distorting images.

At the end of the exhibition was the Mola Mola fish tank. I wouldn't have cared about them at all – they are somewhat dull, as far as fish go – except that we learned about them in Friday Special Day class. The mola mola fish, you see, is so incompetent that it can't distinguish the glass walls from the water, so it bumps straight into the wall. At that point you'd think it would turn around and try a different direction... but this is the mola mola fish we're talking about. They don't believe in defeat. Instead, they start slamming themselves against the glass walls in a futile attempt to break through, so much so that they got concussions. The marine biologists ended up coating the glass in a thin layer of nylon in order to save these delightfully daft fish from their own stupidity.

We proceeded back to Busan station, pleased with our accomplishments, and dined on green tea gelato while we waited for the train. The train didn't arrive in Pyeongtaek until 2 am, by which point I was basically asleep on my feet, and I fell into bed almost immediately upon arriving home.

Seoul Bound

August 6, 2011

In a brilliant display of planning, CK refused to let me have Thursday and Friday off – Monday through Wednesday as the official AVALON summer holiday, so I figured to just take off Thursday and Friday as well. Instead, CK made me go to work on Thursday, and then I got Friday and Monday off to make a four-day weekend. Why make me go back for one day? No one knows, least of all CK himself.

So, finished my day of toiling, Jesse and I contemplated our weekend plans. We were going to go to Busan city, but then we remembered that Jesse's laundry wasn't dry, and therefore he didn't have any clothing to pack. Trip out of the question, we decided to move our Seoul adventures to this weekend instead.

On Friday we didn't actually make it to Seoul – instead, we went to Suwon, a city 30 minutes north of Pyeongtaek. It has a huge fortress that encircles the city center, left over from the Joseon Dynasty, as well as a palace complex. We spent an amusing taxi ride from the train station to the fort with a Korean gentleman who prattled away at us in Korean for ten minutes while we smiled and nodded. We indicated that we didn't understand him several times, but he didn't much seem to care.

I've been to the fortress before, of course, so it wasn't exactly new for me. Jesse enjoyed it, though – which I learned by asking him, “Do you like the fort?” to which Jesse replied, “It's cool”. This being high praise from Jesse, I declared our trip a success. We also hit up the palace, which I hadn't seen last time as it was closed. It was your typical Korean palace – big open squares, curvy roof buildings, very colorful, very serene.

Our trip home was almost more of an adventure than our scheduled adventure. We decided to take the subway back instead of the train, so that we could stop in Songtan and get some delicious Thai food. The only problem is that halfway between Suwon and Songtan, the subway turns around and goes back up to Suwon. We realized that this had happened the stop before Suwon, and were extremely confused until we deduced what had gone wrong. From there, we got off, went over to the south-bound train platform, got on the new subway, got off before it turned around again, got on a new train, and finally reached Songtan. This whole adventure took almost an hour, with Songtan only about 20 minutes south by train. Siiiigh.

On Saturday we went to the War Memorial – again, been there, done that. My favorite part was at the end, when we were wandering the outside of the building and sat down by the pool to watch the water striders leap about. Jesse voiced his oft-heard comment, “I like water”, to which I replied, “I like water, too.” And thus we bonded. I have decided that when I become rich and build my mansion, I will include a large, serene pool of water intersected by various bridges and walkways.

After the War Memorial, we headed over to the JUMP! theatre to see the show. I saw it a few months back, and it was just as good the second time around. Basically the story is that there's this incredibly dysfunctional family – consisting of the pervy mom, prankster dad, drunken uncle, and beautiful daughter – who all happen to be martial arts experts. The action begins when the grandfather brings a visitor home – a shy young man who wants to marry the daughter! Hilarity ensues, fights erupt, and we discover that whenever the shy boyfriend takes off his glasses, he becomes a sexy, virile fighting machine. Then robbers – who bring their theme music with them via boom box – break into the house, only to discover they picked possibly the worst family on the planet to steal from. Very enjoyable, and we didn't stop laughing pretty much the entire time.

On Sunday we went to Gyeongbokgung palace, which is the huge palace in central Seoul that I visited with Mom when she was here. Of course, when she was here it was winter, so the palace was far more enjoyable this time around. Have I mentioned that I dislike the cold? Anyway, we happened to arrive just in time for the changing of the guard, which was not quite as impressive as the one at Buckingham Palace, although a deal less crowded.

We wandered around the grounds for a few hours, admiring the architecture and the lovely rivers and ponds – which naturally provoked another “I like water” statement from Jesse. I suggested that we find ourselves a free tour, like the one that Mom and I went on when we went to the palace, but Jesse said, “I don't like tours”. Most of the time he's incapable of making a decision, and then he just throws you for a loop with a strongly-worded statement like that.

Following Gyeongbokgung, we went to see the second of our two theatrical excursions, Drawing Show: Hero! Like Jump, I'd seen this show before, and I thought that Jesse would enjoy it because it's so... well, strange. There are four actors, who wear costumes and makeup that make them look like Charlie Chaplin (sans moustache). The show alternates between slapstick humor and them creating beautiful works of art in mediums ranging from charcoal to flashlights. It was one of the coolest things I had ever seen, and Jesse declared it “good”.

Let's see... Friday, Saturday, Sunday, check. I took my last vacation day on Monday, meaning I'm now officially out of vacation days (noooo!), although there is still Chuseok (Korean Thanksgiving) coming up in September. We had an unbelievably late start on Monday – I think we got to Seoul at 6 pm – and we decided to go to Seoul Tower.

Seoul Tower is located on the top of Namsan mountain in the middle of the city. There is a cable car that goes up to the top, which Jesse and I attempted to locate. However, when we wandered around for fifteen minutes and couldn't find it, we decided that we must be looking in the wrong place, and decided to just walk up the mountain on foot. This started off well enough – we found a nice, serene, winding path lined with little flower bushes and a stream – until it started to slope down. We had, of course, taken the path in the wrong direction.

So we turned around and backtracked to where we started. From there, we took the downhill path – which we had assumed was the wrong way – and eventually found a staircase that professed to go up to the tower. No problem! Except that we were climbing a mountain, not my apartment steps, and it was both getting dark and it was chilly and drizzling. Nevertheless, with the aide of a few rest stops we made it to the top.

Seoul Tower was... well, once you've seen the CN tower, most other towers pale by comparison. One thing Seoul Tower had going for it is that it was very brightly colored. The whole thing lights up different colors at night, and was very picturesque. We took an elevator to the observatory floor, where we proceeded to admire the Seoul nighttime skyline. It was also at this point that I discovered my feet were aching abominably from hiking up a mountain in non-hiking sandals.

We elected to take the cable car down, which was infinitely superior to walking down in the dark, and stopped for dinner at a lovely little Italian place. The food came out startlingly quickly, which we were confused by at first, until we realized that all the pastas on the menu were made with spaghetti. Pasta becomes much easier to prepare when you just dump pre-cooked spaghetti and pre-cooked sauce into a pot and heat it up a bit.

Our Italian side-quest meant that we missed the 9:15 train by five minutes, and since the Korail transit system lives to “troll” us, as Jesse would say, the next train wasn't for another hour. We made the best of this by acquiring refreshing beverages and watching the Manchester United game. And then we went home, to prepare for four days of me teaching, and Jesse playing computer games. Huzzah!

Jeju Island: Part Two

August 1, 2011

For our second full day in Jeju, Jesse and I planned an epic adventure of hiking and caving and assorted athletic shenanigans. Then we looked outside the window and discovered that it was a dreary, rainy day. It was also noon. Since you can't start up the Halla mountain hiking trails past 2 pm, we had to strike that off the list. Instead, we decided to wind our way east across the island to the Manjanggul lava tube – more a tunnel, really, considering it's massive and more than a kilometre long.

We once again put our expert navigation skills to the test by going to the bus station and boarding a bus that allegedly went to the caves. After an hour of rumbling through quaint seaside villages and rugged countryside that strangely reminded me of Scotland, the speaker announced that we had reached the Manjanggul stop. Jesse pressed the stop button, and we disembarked... onto the edge of an otherwise empty highway.

Before we could panic, a taxi rolled out of the fog (remember, the day was dreary) and offered to take us up to the caves, which are about 4km up a side road, for 4,000 won. That's expensive for Korea taxi standards, but Jesse and I were willing to pay the price. Walking, after all, is lame, especially on such a blah day.

After buying our tickets, we walked through a lush green area, whereupon the ground opened up before us to reveal the lava tube. Basically, Jeju is a volcanic island, and back when the lava was flowing underground, it carved out a massive tube in the earth. This tube was actually 17m at it's largest, and insanely cool – “cool” having a double meaning, as it was also very cold, by which I mean I froze. At some points you could actually see the rock ceiling melted from the heat of the lava flowing beneath it. The melty rock was definitely our favorite part of the tunnel, although just walking in a giant tunnel under the earth made from a molten hot river of lava was pretty neat, too.

It was only mid-afternoon by that point, so we grabbed some lunch at the lava tube cafeteria. The rain, which had been sparsely sprinkling up to that point, began to deluge, so Jesse and I ate as slowly as possible so that we would have an excuse to stay at our table, and therefore out of the rain. Then we hit up the gift shop to buy a few extra minutes, at which point the rain lessened to a more reasonable level.

There was a hedge maze maybe half a km down the road, so we opened up our umbrellas and headed down to check it out. It was... strange. The maze itself was great – tall, neatly trimmed hedges, convoluted pathways, and you got to ring a bell when you reached the end. The problem was the rain. Even though it had more or less stopped by the time we reached the maze, it had formed large puddles in the maze that we had to leap over. Therefore our leisurely stroll through the maze turned out to be more of a walk three steps, hop back and forth across a giant puddle, rinse and repeat. An unexpected workout, but enjoyable nonetheless – at least it was in retrospect!

We recovered from our maze ordeal with some cactus-flavored ice cream, then got the nice lady at the ticket counter to call us a taxi. One of the pamphlets I grabbed from the hotel was for Mini Mini Land, which is basically a small park full of tiny scale models of famous buildings. According to the map, it was somewhere close to us. Not quite.

First of all, the taxi ride was about twenty-five minutes, so the park wasn't exactly close. Second, our taxi driver was a maniac, and incapable of focusing on the road for more than five seconds without getting distracted by his tv or his phone. Since most taxi drivers in Korea have this problem, we weren't too concerned... until he hit a sheet of water, hydroplaned, grabbed at the wheel, and nearly drove off the road. I was about an inch away from yanking the wheel out of his hand, as he didn't actually notice the massive puddle until we were in mid-hydroplane.

Near-death-experience aside, we made it to Mini Mini Land intact, and proceeded inside. It was very amusing. They had miniature sculptures of everything from the Sydney Opera House to the Easter Island statue heads... although the Easter Island heads were actually quite large, now that I think about it. Jesse and I made a game out of seeing how many of the buildings we could guess without looking at the nameplates, and we did quite well. All that world travelling finally paid off!

Then we went into the mirror house, which was mainly amusing in that it had a mirror trick in which you could take a photo of someone where it looked like their head was sticking out of a table, with no body below. Woo!

We found a bus stop near Mini Mini Land, and returned to Jeju City without delay. Pizza two nights in a row seemed excessive, so we got some McDonalds, because we're just that cool. I tried the new Prime Burger, which was meh. Then we retired to our room to prepare for tomorrow's adventure!

August 3, 2011

For our last full day in Jeju, we went to bed the night before thinking, “Okay, tomorrow we have to climb Mt. Halla!” It's just the thing to do on Jeju, so how could we not do it? Spoiler alert: we didn't climb Mt. Halla. This is mostly because we woke up around noon, which somewhat destroyed our dream of climbing a mountain. Regardless, fun was still had in the magical land of Jeju.

We decided to go to Psyche World in the end, which Sean and Sacha recommended to us. It was conveniently located next to a Teddy Bear museum, which I will discuss later. Psyche World was... odd. Not at all what we expected, for sure. The brochure went on and on about butterflies, so Jesse and I were expecting some sort of butterfly conservatory. Not the case.

Psyche world is less of a butterfly conservatory, and more of a really weird collection of things, heavily featuring bugs. There's a little gallery inside which is entirely devoted to dead bugs. They have hundreds of pinned butterflies from all four corners of the globes. They have bugs re-enacting various literary scenes, like the Trojan Horse and the Odysseus and the Cyclops. They even had a Starcraft scene, which Jesse loved and made me take a picture of. It was actually really cool... in a somewhat perverse way.

Once you're done with the bugs, you walk through a small petting zoo – with a dozen adorable bunnies – and out into the park area, which has: a zipline, a castle-themed maze with paintings of Disney characters, a pond, and a mirror house. The mirror house was the coolest by far – they had a mirror maze so intense that you had to wear plastic gloves before going in, so that you didn't leave finger prints when you smacked into the glass.

Nonetheless, we persevered, and had a marvelous time. Following Psyche World was the Teddy Bear Museum, which Jesse did not want to go into. I wore him down, though, and in we went – the only condition was that I not tell his little friends that he went into the Teddy Bear Museum. Sigh.

The bottom floor was kind of lame – just a collection of stuffed animals in a jungle setting. Although I must admit that the variety of animals was quite shocking – who knew they made an anteater stuffed animal? The second floor was much cooler. It featured a gigantic, elephant-sized bear, as well as various works of art re-done with teddy bears. My personal favorite was the hall of Greek Gods, although the Vitruvian Bear and Bearth of Venus were close seconds. Like the ursine puns?

Since this was our last night in Jeju, we decided to give the black pork another go. We actually knew what we were ordering this time, so we weren't surprised when normal-looking pork came out, instead of the charred meat we'd been expecting last time. It was quite delicious, although also expensive.

We returned to the hotel with the intention of going to bed early, although that somewhat failed, as I couldn't fall asleep until nearly midnight. We had to go to bed early because, of course, we had a 7 am flight the next morning.

Waking up around 5 am, we got to the airport without much trouble, onto the airplane, and back to Seoul. From there we took the train to Pyeongtaek, since the bus system confused us. I had intended for us to go to Suwon fortress that same day, but Jesse informed me that “I don't do things when I'm tired”. Doing things now out of the question, we lazed around. I took a nap, Jesse played League of Legends, we watched movies, got some fried chicken and pizza, etc. Not the most glorious end to our Jeju adventure, but certainly delicious enough!

Gimpo Airport + Jeju Island Day One

July 30, 2011

Jesse and I set out at 2:30 pm this Saturday for our first “trip”. Our destination? Jeju Island. We had a 6:25 flight out of Gimpo airport, so we boarded a bus after lunch and set out on our epic quest.

Jeju is an isle off the southern tip of the Korean peninsula. It's famous for hiking, horseback riding, black pork, and chocolate. The Koreans call it Honeymoon island, since it was pretty much the only place the Korean people could afford to go back before they uber-industrialized and became an economic power. It remains to this day the most popular vacation destination for Koreans. We would be on the island for four nights and three days, and in a brilliant feat of planning-ahead skills, I got a list of must-see attractions from Sacha and decided to make it up as I went along.

So we get to the airport with little trouble, and utilize some mad direction skills to reach the check in counter... only to discover that our flight has been delayed by an hour. Not ideal, but we make the best of it by grabbing some cheesecake and frappucinos from Starbucks to pass the time.

Upon locating the gate, we bunk down for our 90 minute wait. About 40 minutes later, I look up at the sign board for the gate, and discover that our flight is no longer listed on it.

But Jesse and I are seasoned travellers, and we were far too hip to panic. Instead, we located the new and improved gate by following the directions of the mumbling loudspeaker lady. At this point I noticed that our airplane tickets read “Gimpo --> Gwangju”. Since we had a stopover in Gwangju, I didn't get too concerned. As it turns out, I probably should have.

An hour later, and we were landing at Gwangju airport. I wanted to make sure we knew where we were going next, so I called over a flight attendant and showed her our tickets. “Where do we go?” I asked, putting my months of sign-language practice to good use.

The stewardess was baffled. Our ticket said Gwangju, and the plane was in Gwangju – what was the problem? No, I said desperately, we need to go to Jeju! We're supposed to transfer in Gwangju! Transfer!

This incited mass panic amongst the flight attendants. They handed us off to a ground control guy, who led us across the tarmac at a spirited pace – by this point, Jesse and I were somewhat concerned. Inside, he brought us to the check-in counter, where we were issued a second ticket that would bring us to Jeju. According to some foreigners we talked to later, who allegedly went through the same process, you have to get a new ticket when you reach your transfer airport. Since this seems like an asinine approach to managing stopover flights, I can only hope that the fault lies in Jesse and I for this extremely confusing set of events. Otherwise... get it together, Korean airline system. Seriously.

On the second flight, we sat next to Sketchy Guy. He was an old man whose carry on luggage was in the form of several large pieces of styrofoam taped together with bright red packing tape. When the tv screens played an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos, he laughed so uproariously that we resorted to glancing at him askance. And when the plane touched down, he evacuated his seat so quickly that I actually had to climb up on my own seat so that I wasn't bowled over. Not to mention that the aisle was filled with people, so he couldn't actually get anywhere, even if he tried. As Jesse would say, Sketchy Guy is sketchy.

From there it was a simple matter to take a cab to our hotel and check in. Ha! As if. First we had to figure out how to communicate our hotel name to the cab driver. The name of our hotel was “Jeju Palace Hotel”. “Jeju Palace Hotel”, I said to the driver. “Paradise Hotel?” he replied. “No. Palace. Pah-lass”. “Paradise?” “Pah. Lass.” “Ahhhh! Jeju Pah-lass”. “Yes. Pah-lass”. Siiiigh.

We hadn't eaten since our Starbucks snack, so we wandered down the street – which was much like the hotel strip in Las Vegas, except less ostentatious – and found a pork BBQ place. It was delicious, but we were perplexed about the black pork. According to our waitress, she had served it to us, but we couldn't remember eating any black pork. We had to google “black pork” to figure out what was going on. Jesse and I pictured it like pork that they had blackened – as in, charred the outside. No. It's called black pork because the pork comes from a black pig. Live and learn.

After fighting a valiant battle with the AC unit in our room, we retired for the day in order to rest up for our adventures on the morrow.

July 31, 2011

Day 2 of our Jeju trip! For our first full day on Jeju Island, we wanted to stay fairly close to Jeju city where our hotel was, since we had no idea how to get around the island. We could always take a taxi, of course, but it's about 2 hours from top to bottom of the island, so taxis aren't exactly ideal.

We grabbed a bunch of pamphlets from the hotel lobby, and brought them all to the man at the front desk. He told us which ones were nearby in Jeju city. The winners were Dinoland and Loveland. There are a lot of “lands” in Jeju. As far as Jesse and I can tell, think of any theme – dinosaurs, chocolate, teddy bears, erotic art – and Jeju has a theme park for it.

So we took a taxi out of Jeju city down to Dinoland. The park started off well, with a life-sized brachiosaurus statue that was amusingly gigantic. Then there was a garden area with various dinosaurs, followed by an awesome animatronic cave. The best part was the two raptor robots ripping into the intestines of a downed iguanadon. Dinoland, we discovered, likes their intestines.

From there, we went to the 3D movie, which featured the heart-warming tale of a boy and his robot friend who break into a museum, steal a time machine, and go back to the Cretaceous period. Shenanigans ensue. At the end they jump back to present day to escape a sea monster, and accidentally bring the monster with them. Nasty surprise for whoever goes to use the time machine next.

The best part, hands down, of Dinoland was the parrot cage. It was basically a greenhouse full of parrots and assorted avian wildlife. And out back there was a turtle pond. I like turtles. These turtles were very non-conventional, in that they were shockingly ambulatory and moved very quickly. One turtle in particular had someplace to be, and it decided to get there by walking over top of a much smaller turtle, who wiggled its feet and had to scramble out of the way, lest it be squashed. Jesse and I were very amused.

While at Dinoland, we tried Dippin Dots for the first time – those little ice cream balls that you find everywhere. I wasn't all that impressed. The flavor I got, rainbow, didn't taste like ice cream at all. It was like someone had taken a popsicle, chopped it into little bits, and then put it in a cup. Harumph.

After that we went to Loveland, which was just hilarious. It's essentially an outdoor art gallery devoted entirely to erotic sculptures. I won't go into details, but let's just say that we didn't stop laughing pretty much the entire time we were there – although we did turn down the volume when we were around other people.

Now, when I say erotic art, I mean erotic art. The arrows painted on the ground, to show you which way to walk through the park? Penises. The first sculpture you see, walking into the park? A giant, naked woman, arched up in the throws of ecstasy. The “gift shop”? Well, I'm sure you can imagine.

Following Loveland, we took a taxi back to Jeju City and decided to get some pizza as a reward for our hard day's work. We wandered around for nearly half an hour, and somehow failed to find a single pizza shop. For Korea, this is a very strange occurrence. You can usually find a pizza shop at least once a block. Luckily Jeju did follow the normal Korea rule of one convenience store every half block, so we went into one and got vague directions towards Pizza Hut.

Pizza Hut is gourmet food in Korea, and we ended up with a sweet-potato stuffed crust Double BBQ Deluxe pizza, which cost 22,000 won and was about the size of a small pizza in Canada. Still, it was extremely delicious, and we retired to our hotel room to eat and enjoy.

My Unsuccessful Attempt to Get Jesse Abducted By North Korea - Or, Our DMZ Trip

July 26, 2011

Flash forward a month, and suddenly it's time for Jesse to come visit me! I acquired him from the airport without too much difficulty – the flight was delayed an hour and a half, but that was actually very convenient as I was somewhat late in leaving. Finally reunited with my brother whom I hadn't seen in 9 months, Jesse launched into DnD talk almost immediately. I really missed him and his silliness.

We went back to Pyeongtaek, then lazed around all weekend. I had intended for us to do something on Sunday, but Jesse was jet lagged, so we just hung around the house and explored Pyeongtaek a bit. But Tuesday was to be a far more exciting day, for on Tuesday we set forth to one of the most dangerous tourist attractions in SK – visiting the DMZ.

In my infinite wisdom, I booked a trip to the DMZ that started at 7am in the morning. In Seoul. Sigh. I compensated for this sad state of affairs by forcing us to wake up early on Sunday and Monday to prepare for our early start on Tuesday. Jesse, who was already jet lagged, was not a fan of these forced wake up calls. Ha.

CK was awesome and let me out of work early on Monday (I had the last two classes off anyway) so Jesse and I took the 9pm train to Seoul. We stayed in a little motel near the station that Jenna recommended – it's very cute, very clean, and only 40,000 won a room! This is actually the same motel I suggested that Mom and I stay at when we were trapped in Seoul, but she trusted a train station lady over her own daughter and we ended up in a white-washed Spartan room with an incredibly uncomfortable bed and no shower instead.

We got two rooms, since Jesse is somewhat large and takes up an unbelievable amount of space. Due to its cuteness, I slept very well at the motel. I was especially amused by the three different sets of lights in the room – mood lighting for more amorous visitors, no doubt. Like I said, I slept well... up until the 6am wake up call, naturally.

Taking the subway, we arrived at Camp Kimberly in good time. There are US camps spread all across South Korea, with a number in Seoul itself. Camp Kim happens to hold the USO tour headquarters, where the DMZ bus tour departs from. We hung out in the USO tour office for a bit, amusing ourselves by watching a British gentleman trying and failing to find milk and sugar for his coffee. Then we got onto the bus and started our journey north!

Our tour guide was a peppy Korean girl named Honey who was fond of making bad jokes, and then assuring us that she was only joking. My favourite joke of hers had to do with Korean soldiers. According to Honey, since all Korean men have to serve in the military for 2 years, they love to reminisce on their time in the army. They try to impress girls by going on about how they almost got shot, but the Korean girls know better than to believe them. Honey claimed that if any of us foreign girls were looking for a Korean boyfriend, we should ask about their military time, and then act very impressed when they tell their fake war stories. She followed this lengthy story with “Joking! Joking!” Jesse and I suspect that she wasn't joking at all.

We stopped in Camp Bonifas to pick up our military escort, Sergeant Jenkins. Now, I got this name from Jesse, as I don't recall his name, so you can pretty much be assured that it's not actually his name. He was there to keep us in line, and save us from any trigger-happy North Koreans. I think the keeping-in-line thing was more relevant, since the North Korean soldiers shouldn't have any reason to shoot us unless we try to, like, defect to North Korea. I really liked Sergeant Jenkins, or whatever his name was. He possessed a dry wit and jaded attitude, and talked about North Korea like it was some sort of dim-witted child who threw the occasional temper tantrum. Jesse and I were very amused by him.

We took the single road up through the DMZ to the JSA – the Joint Security Area. This is located on the MDL – the military demarkation line – and the DMZ extends for 2 km north and south of this line. The line itself is signified by small metal signposts and the occasional concrete slab. Not exactly well-marked, but I guess the idea is that you shouldn't be going anywhere near the MDL anyway.

Once inside the JSA, we proceeded into a large building which may or may not have been called the Freedom Hall. We were told not to take pictures of this building, although I have no idea why – there wasn't anything particularly interesting inside. Perhaps there's some secret sub-structure, James Bond villain-style. We also had to march in 2 lines single file, which was fun, as we got to witness our fellow tourists failing to walk in a line.

We went out the back of the Freedom Hall, and then BAM! A pickle! No, just kidding, it was North Korea.

To paint a picture, imagine you're standing on the back steps of a five story glass building, flanked by four heavily armed South Korean soldiers. Your American military escort warns you sternly not to leave the steps – you don't want to risk provoking the NK soldiers, who you can clearly see standing maybe 75 meters in the distance.

A two-lane road is at the base of the Freedom Hall steps, and past a row of light blue bungalow-bunkers rises a large concrete building – North Korea's version of the Freedom building. One lonely North Korean soldier stands at the door, peering at your through large black binoculars. There is also a second guard in one of the second story windows, keeping watch on the first guard. You listen as Sergeant Jenkins explains that NK soldiers are always paired up, so that they can shoot their partner if they try to defect to South Korea.

In between the two buildings are two roads, and between them are the blue bunkers. Several SK soldiers stand on the SK side of the MDL, which runs through the centre of the bunkers. They stand perfectly still, fists clenched at their hips in some sort of Taekwando stance. Some of the soldiers are standing with one half of their bodies behind the bunkers – to make them harder to shoot, Sergeant Jenkins explains.

The SK military follows a 3:1 rule – they must have triple the soldiers present at all times, in case NK tries anything. They need to be constantly on guard, because NK refuses to tell them anything. At any moment they might bring a big tourist group out, with 20 guards escorting them, and South Korea needs to be ready to trot out 60 guards to match their numbers.

Now Sergeant Jenkins forms you up into 2 lines again. It's time to go into the blue bunkers! You cross the road, knowing that the NK soldiers are watching your every move. You wonder if they realize what a terrible country they live in. You wonder why more NK soldiers don't risk running across the MDL to defect. And then you're inside the bunker.

It's fairly nice inside, full of polished wooden chairs and tables. Your military escort urges you further into the room, directing you around the tables. Then he calls for attention, and shows you how a line of microphones on the biggest table marks the MDL. “That's the MDL,” he says, turning to everyone on the right side of the table. “You're now in North Korea.”

Oh. My. God.

It was a really awesome moment of realization, suddenly discovering that I was standing on North Korean soil. Jesse and I kept our cool, though. We didn't want to look like foolish tourists. No, I'm just kidding. We oohed and aahed with the best of them, took pictures with the South Korean guard, giggled in excitement, etc.

After this, we went to a bunch of places around JSA – a lookout, the site of the Axe Murder incident, and Dorasan train station. Did you know that a couple hundred South Korean workers go up to North Korea every day to work in a joint-Koreas factory? It's something about promoting feelings of brotherhood, although I imagine you have to be pretty damn patriotic to willingly work in North Korea.

So to recap, the general feeling that Jesse and I got from the trip is that North Korea is essentially a temperamental child. They have no long term plans or understanding of consequences, and violently overreact to perceived slights. Take the Axe Murder incident, for example.

This happened a few decades back, when the JSA was a free for all, by which I mean that the two Koreas were allowed to build guard posts and buildings wherever they liked within the bounds of the JSA. This is in contrast to now, where NK can't build anything south of the MDL, and vice versa.

The US troops had two guard posts set up close to one another, but a poplar tree grew that blocked the view between the guard posts. Uneasy with the idea of not being able to see from one guard post to the other, US troops decided that the easiest solution was simply to cut the tree down. A handful of US soldiers grabbed some axes and proceeded to do so.

Then everything went to hell. The North Korean soldiers freaked out and demanded that the US soldiers stop cutting down the tree. When the soldiers-turned-lumberjacks ignored them, the NK soldiers attacked. They killed at least three US soldiers, and wounded several more. All this because the US troops had the gall to cut down a tree.

A few days later, after both sides had time to retreat and figure out how to resolve the whole mess without restarting the war, the US troops decided to attempt another tree-chopping operation. But this time they came prepared, complete with heavily armed guards, air support, and reinforcements ready at the drop of a hat. North Korea wisely decided to just shut up and let them cut down the damned tree.

We also went to the 3^rd Infiltration Tunnel, one of 5 tunnels that North Korea has built trying to tunnel their way to Seoul, although only 4 have been officially recognized by the South Korean government. This is because, when the fifth tunnel was discovered, relations were really good between the north and south, and SK didn't want to mess things up.

The tunnel was long, dark, wet, and uncomfortably low. Jesse and I spent pretty much the entire kilometre walking half bent-over. Still, it was a neat experience, and entirely worth the resulting back ache. According to Honey, had the tunnel been completed, NK could have used it to transport 30k+ soldiers to Seoul. A terrifying concept, so definitely a good thing that SK found the tunnel.

All in all, a very cool, one of a kind experience. I wonder if I'll ever live to see the north and south Koreas united. I have no doubt that the day will come – I just don't see it happening for at least a few more decades.

Drawing Show: Hero!

June 18, 2011

Today was supposed to be a full day, involving getting up early, going to Seoul, visiting the DMZ tour office, shopping, having a meal, and seeing a show. As you might guess, things didn't go as planned.

The day started off on the wrong foot when I woke up at 2pm. I blame this entirely on my dear mother, who skyped with me until 3:45 am. It may or may not have also been my fault, as I then continued to surf the internet until 5am.

Anyway, I woke up at 2pm, and in a stellar display of self-control, I was out the door by 3pm. Took the train to Seoul – standing room, of course – and by that time it was 4:30pm.

My first stop was the USO tour office at Camp Kim. The reason for this is simple – the DMZ tour I booked for Jesse and I (who's coming to Korea in July) begins at 7:30 am, so I wanted to scout out where the place was before hand. I know, how unusually responsible of me. Anyway, the office was closed, but I now know where it is, so partial victory?

Now 5pm, I was torn between eating and going to see a show. I had directions to three different shows, but the only one close enough was Drawing Show: Hero! I've found that a great way to see shows in Seoul is just to show up 30 minutes before the show and buy a ticket. They always have an extra seat or two.

This unfortunately necessitated skipping dinner, although I did consume a generic blueberry muffin. I got a seat in the middle of a row, as when I went to see NANTA (Cookin!) and sat on the edge, they pulled me up on stage, where I proceeded to fail at making dumplings and probably looked like a complete idiot.

My seat was awesome - 3^rd row, almost center stage. Before the show started, they played “Don't Worry, Be Happy” over and over, which was cheerful but obnoxious. The show itself was phenomenal! Humor, dancing, art, Superman = perfection.

After the show, I went to Myeongdong, where I intended to pick up some gifts to send home. I got myself a shirt, a cute umbrella, and various other things which I'll have to figure out who to give them to at a later date.

The only flaw in my shopping plan was that by the time I got back to Seoul station, I had just missed the 9pm train, so I had to wait until 10:15pm for the next one. This was a problem because I have a standing skype date with dad at 11pm, so I was about 30 minutes late. He didn't complain, luckily, and we had a lovely chat about, among other things, Father's Day! Jesse bought him a book about naval warfare, which dad immediately decided to return, until he actually looked at it and decided it wasn't such an awful present after all.

Accosted by the Man in Gray

May 21, 2011

Today I woke up with the intention of going to Seoul for some shopping and to see one of the grand palaces, but it was raining! Cursing my rotten luck, I lounged around for a few hours and contemplated the tattoo I may or may not be getting in the near future.

I have recently been on a “single instrument + singer” kick, starting with “I Will Follow You Into the Dark”, and now including the EP by Darrin Criss. In a fun juxtaposition, I've also been listening to Lady Gaga's new pop/electronic album.

Unlike the last time I ventured to AK in the rain, I was more or less dry when I arrived at the theater. I bought my ticket, then headed over to Yak & Everest for some butter chicken. The standout of the meal was the mango lassi, a combo of ice, mango, and yogurt. Delicious!

On my way back to AK, I discovered a concert going on. As the second song started, a friendly man in a grey suit came up to me and struck up a conversation. He has a Canadian friend, he chided me for not having a Korean boyfriend, and tried to explain what the song was about. The song is famous in Korea, called Arirang, and has something to do with the Japanese, a man and a woman, and someone getting killed. When he offered me a cigarette and said something about soju, I decided to make my exit.

Final impressions of the man: very nice, but a bit too touchy – he kept one hand rested on my shoulder for our entire conversation, and stood a little too close for comfort. Still, a fun, uniquely Korean encounter.

Damyang Bamboo Festival!

A/N: As astute readers may notice, this blog entry is dated May 7. It is currently August. Having been appallingly remiss in posting, I shall now post a new entry each day, spanning the time from May to present day, until we are all caught up. Huzzah!

May 7, 2011

Despite my attempts to get up early and get to Damyang at a reasonable hour, my wake up time progressed from 9:30 to 10:30 to 11:00. By the time I'd packed my overnight bag and finished my shower? 12:30. Siiigh. Bear in mind here that it takes 5 hours to get to Damyang.

A lesser traveller would have given up, but I persevered! You see, this weekend in Damyang is the annual bamboo festival – the only bamboo festival in Korea. It would just be foolish to give up now.

After a warm and bumpy bus ride, I proceeded to AK plaza. My online instructions indicated that I had to go up to Yongsan to catch a train, but I decided to give Pyeongtaek a fighting chance. Sure enough, the 2:57 train to Gwangju was available!

With 90~ minutes to kill, I proceeded into the DAISO/dollar store to acquire a notepad and pen. I had originally planned to keep myself amused with a fantastic fantasy novel called “The Warded Man”, but I finished it yesterday after reading it for five hours more-or-less straight. Instead, I brought “Memoirs of a Geisha” and my ipod, but decided on some extra entertainment, just in case. Now that I think about it, I easily could have brought along my Sudoku book. Ah well. Such is the fate of those with poor planning skills.

I then went to the food court, at which point I was accosted by a Jehovah's Witness. They love Pyeongtaek station – I've run into them three times now. It's interesting to discuss religion with them, because no matter what blasphemous things you say, they are unfailingly polite and understanding. It's actually really impressive. For example, I told her I thought the Bible stories were about as plausible as Greek mythology (not to say that the 12 labours of Herakles didn't happen, because they totally did), and she just smiled, said, “Read this,” and handed me a pamphlet.

But enough about my brushes with religion. Following my Jehovah's Witness encounter, I proceeded into the food court, where I purchased and consumed bibimbap. This is my third or fourth time eating it, and I have to tell you, I'm not the biggest fan. Without hot sauce, it just tastes like bland rice and vegetables, and with hot sauce it's just spicy. Perhaps one day I shall find a happy medium.

During my 4 hour train ride, while looking out the window, I remembered something Ashley Drakos told me. In Korea, there are super cheap hotels called “Love Motels”. You can probably imagine the reason behind the name. And to keep the affairs of their clientele secrete, the motels often put up a line of wide, fabric strips across the driveway/parking lot, so passersby on the street can't look in and see which distinguished businessmen are emerging from cars with their mistresses for a night of passion. Brilliant!

Upon arriving at Gwangju station, (Gwangju, incidentally, is one of the largest cities in Korea – possibly 6^th?) I asked the nice ladies at the ticket booth how to get to the Damyang bus. After some mis-communications, they directed me up to the third floor, over an impressively long overpass that spanned the train tracks, and down to a bus stop.

I waited for #311, and after double-checking that this was in fact the correct bus, I boarded and took a cushy seat. The ride was about 25 minutes, and featured the fastest on-ramp curve I've ever experienced. It would have actually put my father to shame, and if you've driven with him, you know what I'm talking about.

Upon arriving in Damyang, which is a smallish town near Gwangju and the bamboo capital of Korea, I discovered that people here are ridiculously helpful. I went to look at the big map at the bus station to get my bearings, and two different people tried to point me in the right direction.

My first stop was acquiring a hotel, which I managed by approaching a merchant and saying “Hotel?” in a confused manner until he gave me directions via arm gestures. The motel is actually right beside the bus station, and pretty decent accommodations for only 40,000 won a night.

After dropping off my stuff, it was about 7:15, so I proceeded across the street and asked directions to Jongnukwon, the bamboo forest. They sent me right, and I continued to walk this way for about ten minutes until I heard the sweet sound of a brass band!

It turned out to be a concert in the park, and it was a good 2 hours of fun. First the brass band played a bit, then an older woman (and later, an older man) came out to sing what I assume to be Korean classics.

Then the sound of drums filled the air, and I turned around to discover a parade! Admittedly it was small, and lasted all of 5 minutes, but there were some memorable moments. The Korean soldier who saw me taking pictures and waved me over to shake his hand. The soldiers throwing cellphone charms, and the resulting rush of people that I narrowly avoided being crushed by. The nice man in the float who, seeing the only foreigner, waved me over and gave me a cellphone charm – and, of course, the nice lady who tried to explain what it was by putting her hand to her ear and saying, “Handphone, handphone!”

And then there was the drunk old Korean man who decided to invade my personal space and ask me where I was from. After I smiled and repeated “Canada” about 5 times, he was finally satisfied and shook my hand. At that point he attempted to drag me off towards the beer tent, so I removed my hand and retreated into a crowd of amused Koreans who had been watching my plight.

I lasted until a new lady came on – who, I might add, had phenomenally bad hair – and sang English songs off-key and off-tempo, at which point I left. Once I located the Paris Baguette, which meant my motel was near, I stopped in a little diner and had some delicious bulgogi. If there's one Korean food I'm going to miss when I get home, it'll be bulgogi. Oh, and the BBQ!

Tomorrow I will hopefully get up bright and early to go see the festival. I'm not going to mess around with walking – taxis are 90% the way to go in Korea. Have I mentioned how dirt-cheap they are? Comparison: Canada ride = $10. Same distance in Korea: $2.50. I know.

Now it is time for sleep, so I bid you 안영하세요!

May 8^th, 2011

After a less than tranquil night's sleep, I utilized the shockingly hygienic bathroom and got ready. Then I packed up my things, returned the key and set out on my journey.

My initial plan was to locate a taxi and get to the festival that way, but this plan failed when there were no taxis. Instead, I began the trek in the direction of where I suspected the festival was located. Luckily I spotted a taxi along the way, as there were a few more twists and turns than I had suspected.

The festival itself was beautiful – coloured pavilions lining both sides of a river, which actually had stepping stones you could walk across. You could also rent boats to go out on the river, but I prefer ships more along the size of a cruise ship.

I strolled up the bank, watching little kids get their faces painted and shoot at targets with bamboo water guns. Then I crossed the stepping-stone river – getting my shoes wet in the process – and went to a little booth where I wrote a message on some yellow paper and tied it to a tree.

Back on the other side of the river, I happened across a concert stage, where they were performing all sorts of traditional Korean music performances. There was a fan dance, and an old lady singing loudly while a man beat a drum, but my favourite part was the man who played the bamboo flute. That eerie, ethereal sound was haunting and lovely, and its always been a sound I associate with Asia. Beautiful.

Deciding to leave my shopping until after, I proceeded into the bamboo forest, which was just spectacular. Lush, green bamboo forming walls around you... I kept expecting a panda to trundle around the bend at any moment. Unfortunately there are no wild pandas in Korea.

I made it to the top of the hill, then went down to the cultural village, foisting off my pink balloon I'd acquired earlier on a small pink child. Such is the purpose of children. I then wandered about the village, which featured serene ponds, pagodas, weeping willows and, of course, bamboo. I got to strum one of those flat Korean guitars. It's funny, because I've been here for 7 months, but this is the first time I've really felt like I'm in Asia.

After lounging by the lake for a few minutes, I hiked back up the hill and went back through the bamboo forest. Once done my trek, I hit up the bamboo shop, where I acquired a cup, a spoon, and some green tea. Gotta have green tea!

Then I intended to take a taxi back to the bus terminal, but couldn't find one, so I asked a nice police officer for help. He called me a cab, which cost twice as much to return to the terminal as it took to get to the festival, strangely.

At the terminal, my “I'm a helpless foreigner, save me” routine drew two gentlemen, who managed to get me onto the right bus despite the fact that they couldn't speak English, and I couldn't speak Korean. On the bus, I met a nice Korean lady who spoke fluent English, and we chatted about various things. She turned out to be a physics teacher in Damyang headed to Gwangju to meet her boyfriend – a civil engineer – for Parents' Day.

As Parents' Day requires gift giving, she had brought a raw steak in a freezer pack for the occasion. Awesome. She mentioned that she was going to England this summer, so we talked about that for a bit as well. In her honour, and in honour of all the kind people who helped me on my adventure, I name this trip, “Voyage to Friendly Damyang's Bamboo Festival”.

When I arrived at the station, I hit a bit of a snag, as all the trains to Pyeongtaek were sold out. However, there was a seat available as far as Nansan, at which point ticket lady assured me I could pay the conductor in cash for the rest of the journey.

As ticket lady promised, things went smoothly. At Nansan I went into the snack car, where the conductor sold me a new ticket to Pyeongtaek. Not sure why they couldn't just do that at the train station, but whatever works.

Overall, I greatly enjoyed my voyage to “Friendly Damyang”, as I'm now calling it. It was rather far away, true, but the festival was fantastic, and I got to walk through an actual bamboo forest! I would recommend going to Damyang just to do the forest – the festival was just a bonus.